Something To Be ExCiTEd About! Death: The High Cost of Living

I could SCREAM right now. SCREAM!

Death: The High Cost of Living is IN PRODUCTION! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Suddenly I am alive again.

Neil Gaiman, I love love love you. I've been saying for years...YEARS! that The Sandman series needed to be made into a series of movies. Death was a spin-off, you could say, of The Sandman series. I have the books, and the art galleries (including the Death gallery) and will never ever part with them.

Oh my oh my oh my. I cannot contain myself!

"To see a world in a grain of sand...." --William Blake

I think my favorite plant in our backyard is our snail flower vine. Here are some pics of the snail flower, errr...at least my interpretation of them. I dig grain.

Poo

And I'm not talking about Winnie.

Bryce has been potty trained (or at least in the process) for a few months now. But sometimes he seems to just get lazy. He couldn't be bothered with walking 25 feet to get his cute green frog potty, so he just lets loose wherever he may be.

Other times, the backdoor is closer, so he opens it and pees off the patio. A few days ago he came back inside and backed up to me with his butt sticking out. "I pooed," he informed me. I knit my eyebrows and said, "Where?"

"Outside," Bryce said, very matter-of-factly.

I looked.

Sure enough, on the large black wipe-your-feet rug at the backdoor was a nice pile of poo. So fun to clean up from carpet.

Don't even get me started on the diarrhea trail from the living room through the family room and down the hall. Or the time he peed on my pillow because he didn't want to miss 5 seconds of Diego.

:o\

You Are All Uninvited

Sorry to have to cancel, but my 40th birthday party is off. I know, I know, I've been talking about it for 2 years. The excitement is gone. I just can't bring myself to celebrate in a rental.

No offense to renters.

A Fear a Day

I get a word a day emails. I haven't looked at the words in a long time. I love words; I just have too much other crap on my mind. A Word a Day has morphed into A Fear a Day.

Today I'm afraid the rental we'll move into will go into foreclosure and we'll have to move again. And again. And again.

I hate being a renter. It's like staying with relatives; I can't fully relax in someone else's house.

President Obama, your "plan" isn't working. Just thought I'd mention that.

I Am Not a Fighter

For some reason, people think I'm tough. Maybe because I've lived through so much...growing up in a violent family, my father's suicide, "assault" at age 13, my absent mother throughout my teens, bad relationships, the list goes on.

But losing my home is beating me. I can't seem to find the strength to get through it. Others have born it and moved on. I can't seem to shake the depression, even with the help of pharmaceuticals. Every little detail draws me down: the snail vine growing up the patio column. It will die when we leave. We can't really take it with us; what's the point in planting on rental property?

I'm sinking in stress. Already I'm worried about how many push-pin holes Allie will put in the walls of her rented bedroom, despite my asking her not to.

I will miss my fluffy brown carpet in our bedroom.

Weird little thoughts like that, all day long.

All day long.

Okay, Seriously?

Todd was on call Mother's Day weekend. Todd was on call Father's Day weekend. Any time we get invited to do anything FUN, TODD IS ON CALL and we have to miss it. So, I just realized that TODD IS ON CALL for Ward Campout weekend, so we get to miss that, too. The kids will be sooooo bummed. We got to go last year and had a blast!

Okay, just had to GRIPE since that's about all I do lately.

GRIPE!

I Don't Exist If You Don't See Me

Remember that old Sisters of Mercy song? Prolly not, huh? Well, it was a good one. And that's what's running through my head today as I struggle more and more with losing our home.

On a plus side, my mom has been sympathetic and kind through this whole ordeal. She has no money, but said that if she did, she would give us her last penny if it would help us keep our house. And I know she would (not that I would let her). Because in the end, no matter how much she disapproves of me, or how much we get angry with each other, blood is thicker than water. At least, back home it is. Not so much here in AZ.