Early Morning Inner Dialogue

I got up at 5 this morning to catch up on work since the extranet was down for a day and I'm a bit behind. As I sat there printing out purchase orders, I suddently felt really nauseated. The following is the inner dialogue that ensued.

Me: Uuuuuuugh. Why am I so nauseated?

Other me: I don't know. Maybe it's indigestion. Or maybe you're pregnant! Could you be pregnant?

Me: No, I definitely could not be pregnant. Could I? No, we're done. So, no. Nope. I could not be pregnant. But I am feeling very sick. Maybe it's just the flu. Or indigestion, like you said.

Other me: What did you eat last night?

Me: Waffle fries and cucumbers.

Other me: It's probably just gas.

Me: Why won't this PDF print! Print! Print! Print! This computer sucks!

Other me: You're going to have to restart it. Again.

Me: Great. What a pain in the horse! I'm sick of this! I'm going to barf!

Other me: Do some sun salutations while the computer is restarting. It'll help.

Me.: (Reluctantly) Okaaaaaaay.

Me: (Doing sun salutations) Wow, I'm stiff. I can hardly touch the floor. This feels good though. But I still think I'm gonna puke.

Other me: Keep going.

Me: Still feel pukish, but more flexible. I'll be able to lean over the toilet quite well while I puke. I can't be pregnant. I'm not late. I wouldn't be nauseated yet. It's just the flu. I'm going to have to cancel with Shawna and my VT's (Visiting Teachers). Crap.

Other me: It's not the flu. It's the waffle fries and cucumbers. What were you thinking?

Me: I was thinking, "Yummmmm," as I dipped my fries in mayo.

Other me: WHAT?! Mayo? You didn't tell me about the mayo!

Me: But I always do that. Hmmm. Do I have a pregnancy test lying around?

Other me: You're not pregnant! And even if you were, it would be too early to be sick, and too early to show up on a test!

Me: Computer is back up. I'm putting this on my blog.

Other me: Why?

Me: Because if I say it out loud, then I won't be pregnant.

Other me: Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

Me: Leave me alone; I'm going to puke and I have to finish my work.







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