Monday, July 30, 2012

The Episode With the Facial Depilatory Fiasco

Kayso, i have the furriest face of any girl i know. Serrrsly. Bright platinum peach fuzz so fluffy you almost want to pet it. Okay, i do. I do pet it. I've been tired of it for quite some time, though. Last summer after our annual trip to VA, i actually had it waxed, which was a very bad idea for me. My face apparently doesn't enjoy having it's fuzz ripped violently from its follicles, and it let me know that by breaking out in about 14 million tiny white-headed zits.

So, several months later, i decided that it was, perhaps, the wax that irritated my face, so i used my epilator (a little electric shaver-looking dealy that isn't a shaver at all, but an evil tweezing device that yanks hairs out by the root) on about an inch of jawline/cheek, with exactly the same results as with the wax. Zit farmville.

Still unhappy with the white fur on my face, i decided (as a last-ditch effort) to try a facial depilatory, you know, like Nair, but the Sally Hansen face version of it. The patch test went well. I spread a thick layer of the cream on my cheek and waited 3 or 4 minutes, then wiped it off. All the fuzz in that area came off with it. The next day, there was still no irritation, so i decided to go ahead and do the rest of my cheeks/jawline.

This time i was a little lazy about it and didn't bother to time the event. So, apparently, when you don't leave a depilatory on for long enough, it singes most of the hair off, but leaves some crispy stubble. I've gone from feeling like a soft, fuzzy bunny to feeling like a kiwi fruit. Ah well, you live, you learn, right? Even with its tiny white afro, i still like my face better with less hair.


Friday, July 27, 2012

This One Time at Whole Foods

Back in the late '90's, right before delving into my photography business, i was working at the Whole Foods in Charlottesville, VA, in the nutrition department. I was the herbal remedy buyer, but of course, knew all the other products as well--especially the make-up. Gawd, i love make-up. I could roll around in it.

But anyway....

So, one Saturday afternoon, an older gentleman came into the department and was looking with great wonder at the lipstick. I approached him with a smile and asked him if he was looking for something for his wife (which was my societally influenced, assumption-dripping first thought).

"No," he said, "My wife has passed on. I'm actually looking for something for me. I've always wanted to wear lipstick and thought I better do it before it's too late."

"Okay, great! Let me look at your skin tone and see what color i would recommend for you," i responded, and so i found a lovely shade for him, and he purchased his lipstick and we both went about our days, hopefully both a little better off than when we woke that morning. He, for finally giving himself permission to be himself, and me for having assisted and validated another human being. Sure, it was just lipstick, but really it felt like so much more.

I've had a lot of -isms and -ites on my mind and in my life in the past year. I think there's a reason for that, and so i'm starting a big, important project soon. I'm very excited about it, but can't tell you about it just yet.


Monday, July 23, 2012

Oh, Those Crazy Fundies

I have no idea who wrote this, but to them i say "cheers!"

You Know You're a Fundamentalist Christian If...

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Mormon Money

I always thought it was cockamamey bullshit when members used to tell me the GA's of the church didn't get paid. EYE ROLL!

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Why Atheism is NOT a Religion (Duh)

i've been in the most insane discussion the past couple days with people who insist atheism is a religion. the only reason i can even fathom for them to have such a strong need to believe that, is...well, actually, i can't come up with a reason. why they need (and it's obviously some sort of psychological need) to believe that is truly beyond me. i don't consider myself an atheist, although i suppose that "technically" i am, because the gods of today are as mythical to me as the gods of the previous millennia. there's no need to say i don't believe in a god, b/c the notion is completely irrelevant and ridiculous to me.

Bill Maher, as usual, cracks me up while making his point, this one on the reason atheism is not a religion.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

blind dog rescue - bawled like a baby

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

automatic joy [ part threeeeee! ]

whoa, Nelly! it's been a long time since my last "automatic joy" post, so here goes:

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Mass Exodus From LDS Mormon Church

The facts can't be ignored forever. Will the Mormon church survive the information age? I don't see it happening. The facts are too readily available, and people can only fool themselves for so long.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Lana Del Rey - Can't Get Enough

Love her voice!

Friday, January 13, 2012

Mitt Romney is an AssHat

I guess i'm simply jealous of the people in the country who don't have to stress out and worry about how they're going to feed their kids on their husband's $300 paycheck, let alone pay thousands of dollars worth of hospital and dental bills.

Right, Romney. It's just jealousy. Has nothing to do with working our asses off so people like you can own 6 houses, and tear one down because it wasn't big enough. Has nothing to do with wanting to feed our kids at all!