Popcorn kernels are perfect for toddler nostrils, apparently

WARNING: THIS IS GROSS!

So around 11 last night, dear daughter came into our bedroom, woke me, and informed me that toddler boy had an unpopped popcorn kernel stuck up his nose. (They are late-nighters, those two).

So I sat up and looked at Bryce, who looked uncharacteristically concerned.

I then reached over and felt his nostril, and sure enough, up as far as he could shove it--seriously, almost beyond where the bone starts, I could feel the hard, roundish lump of a popcorn kernel.

Searching for but not finding our old baby nose aspirator thingy, I tried rubbing carefully but firmly down the nostril to dislodge the kernel.

It wasn't moving. It was jammed firmly in place.

Bryce, sensing the seriousness of the situation, sat as still and quiet as a sleeping bird while I manipulated his nose.

Still no movement from The Kernel.

Finally, I sighed and did what all you other moms would've done, too.

I sucked his nostril.

Allie left the room, presumably to vomit.

I closed off the clear nostril, covered his mouth, and inhaled forcefully. The kernel dislodged slightly...just enough that I could now rub it down to the cute little entrance of the nose. I then took my long pinkie nail (I keep it longer than the rest just in case such a situation as this should arise) and snagged the kernel, freeing it from it's boogery domain. Yes, I just said boogery.

Are you grossed out yet? I am.