Strut That Ass!

It's a Bittersweet Symphony, This Life

I often ponder why it is that i still feel and receive guidance from what i use to refer to as "The Spirit," despite my atheist/humanist/pantheist beliefs.  But ya know what?  I don't care.  I don't need an answer (good thing, too, because there isn't one that can be proven).  I attribute it to this:  the Universe is a kind and loving place that conspires in our favor at all times, whether we ask it to or not, and whether or not a mere man (despite what title he has given himself) deems us "worthy" or not.

Friday i had a very difficult decision to make regarding the life of one of my children.  As i pondered the list of options, one of them stood out, almost magnified itself before my eyes, guiding me to choose it.  Stupid me that i am, i didn't choose it, but it chose me in the end, anyway.  That option manifested itself despite my moving forward on an option that was faster (though wouldn't have been better).

A person was led into my life recently, too, who has held my hand through the amazing difficulties i've faced with this situation; we wouldn't be in the good place we're in had he not been led to us (again, the Universe has to be thanked for that).

Thank you, Universe, god, flying spaghetti monster, big huge nothingness, cosmic consciousness or whatever else may be here.  You rock!  I love you hugely. 

Namaste.

Have You Ever Been in Love?

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up a whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' or 'how very perceptive' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love. I hate love."
(Neil Gaiman) "Rose Walker" in The Sandman #65