Dreams and { Missed the Boat }

I just woke up from a much-needed nap wherein i dreamed of my momma's southern cookin':  chipped-beef gravy, fried green tomatoes, mashed potatoes and gravy, the way she smooshes bacon as it fries, so it stays flat and gets nice and crispy.  But especially the chipped-beef gravy.  It's worth dreaming about.

I've had food on the mind all day; not sure why.  I've been day-dreaming about Thanksgiving dinner for several hours.  I can taste the stuffing, dripping with gravy.  I'm sure it's all symbolic of the comforts of home.  Such a big part of me wants to be packing boxes for a move back home to Virginia.  Todd and i hoped it would happen in October, but too many bills and other necessities have come up and our savings is (as usual) non-existent.  Plus i just signed a commercial photography contract for an event on November 20, so i know we'll still be here to honor that. 

Oooohhhhhh Virginia.  You're so near me, i can feel the weather getting ready to change to fall.  I can smell the country air and see the dappled light streaming through canopies of trees as i drive along twisty, winding roads, up and over hills, beside long fences lining farmland.  I'm trying so hard not to have regrets.  Todd is trying, too.  He blames himself that we're stuck in the brown dirt, but it's not his fault. 




while we're on the subject, could we change the subject now?
i was knocking on your ear's door, but you were always out
looking towards the future, we were begging for the past
well we know we had the good things but those never seemed to last
oh please just last

everyone's unhappy, everyone's ashamed
well we all just got caught looking at somebody else's page
well nothing ever went quite exactly as we planned
our ideas held no water but we used them like a dam
oh and we carried it all so well
as if we got a new position
oh and i'll laugh all the way to hell
saying "yes this is a fine promotion"
oh and i'll laugh all the way to hell

\of course everyone goes crazy over such and such and such
we made ourselves a pillar, we just used it as a crutch
we were certainly uncertain at least i'm pretty sure i am
well we didn't need the water, but we just built that good goddamn

oh and i know this of myself
i assume as much for other people
oh and i know this of myself
we've listened to more of life's end gong than the sound of life's sweet bells
was it ever worth it was there all that much to gain
well we knew we'd missed the boat and we'd already missed the plane
we didn't read the invite we just danced at our own wake

all our favorites were playing so we could shake shake shake shake shake
tiny curtains opened and we heard the tiny clap of little hands
a tiny man would tell a little joke and get a tiny laugh from all them folks
and drifting around on bubbles and thinking it was us that carried them
when we finally got it figured out that we had truly missed the boat

oh and we carried it off so well
as if we got a new position
oh and we own all the tools ourselves
without the skills to make a show with
oh what useless tools ourselves

Let's Just Call It Crazy, and Call It Good

So, the latest word from the old 'hood is that i've lost my mind.  It cracks me up that there are people from the old 'hood who make sure i know everything that's being said about me back there.  I don't ask, and really, i don't care, but the information keeps streaming in.  { To my adorably sweet sources:  really, you don't have to tell me any more of it; i honestly don't give two poos.  Let them gossip 'til theirs hearts are "content." }

I've always been a compassionate and understanding person.  I can understand why certain people are upset with me right now.  I've learned some very serious and disturbing things and no longer believe what they believe.  When you base your entire life around something, and someone says that certain something isn't true, it's can feel like you're being told that *you're* not true.  It can mess with your head--a lot!  I can understand that. 

What amazes me is the amount of denial some people have to live with in order to believe what they do.  They don't bother to check FACTS, they just write off things they hear as hysteria or gossip or untruth created by "haters."  I'm so grateful that i finally decided to find out the truth for myself. 

If you need to call me crazy in order to continue living comfortably with your beliefs, feel free!  I know who i am; and i know who you are.  And i don't hold that against you. 

Cheers!



We have one chance.
One chance to get everything right.
We have one chance, one chance.
And if we're lucky we might.
My friends, my habits, my family, they mean so much to me.
I just don't think that it's right.
I've seen so many ships sail in,
just to head back out again and go off sinkin'.

I'm just a box in a cage.
I'm just a box in a cage.
I'm just a box, just a box in a cage.
I'm just a box, just a box in a cage.
I'm just a box, just a box in a cage.
I'm just a box in a cage.

Didn't mean to laugh,
didn't know I had,
didn't know the better part of what you said,
'cause in your head you are not home.
Didn't get the joke,
didn't mean to poke another,
just to save myself from some something, something or another one.
Well walk home.

I'm just a box in a cage.
I'm just a box in a cage.
I'm just a box, just a box in a cage.
I'm just a box in a cage.
I'm just a box, just a box in a cage.
I'm just a box, just a box in a cage.
I'm just a box in a cage.

We have one chance, one chance to get everything right.
My friends, my habits, my family, they mean so much to me.
I just don't think that it's right.
I've seen so many ships sail in,
just to head back out again and go off sinkin'.

Playing With My BFF

What do you do on a Saturday night when the hubster is supposed to be resting { after a minor surgical procedure }, the teens are occupied, the small fry's asleep and you don't feel like watching movies or reading?   You play in the studio, of course!  I've been training Todd here and there--not nearly as much as i should be.  We went over lighting last night.  I wish i could say it was super fun for Todd, but i'm a mean teacher, so....

Click to see it biggah!

Congratulations

I woke this morning to an email from Andrew VanWyngarden himself (i'm so fantasizing here) telling me they'd just released the new video for Congratulations. Just for me. But I'll share it with you. (Click over to YouTube to see it biggah!)



Miller&Miller Photography

Did You Ever Have One of Those...

...bad hair bill days?  One where you have an ambulance transport bill (9 miles from one hospital to the next) for $978 and an electric bill for $615?  Oh, and you haven't even made the car payment yet?  And the latest hospital bill will be arriving any day now? 

I love those days!

A Thousand Laughs for You! { John Leguizamo }

About 500 years ago, i had HBO and John Leguizamo's Freak came on.  I loved him already, but after seeing this, i was officially all up in love. 

This video is rated R. 

This is part 1...there are several.  It's one of the funniest and most interesting life stories i've ever seen performed. 

Enjoy!

Harry Potter Weekend

Harry Potter is one of my favorite stories of all time. Did you know there are 4,175 pages in the Harry Potter series books? And around 1,000 different characters? Not to mention all the events, places, fights with Lord V., school happenings, spells and herbs, etc.


I do not know how J. K. Rowling spewed all that forth from her mind and kept track of it all. But the human brain is a very, very capable thing and some people have amazing imaginations.


I love it when ABC Family has a Harry Potter weekend.  I love lying in bed with munchies and drinks (with straws, of course) and watching Harry Potter.  I don't know why it's so special to me, since we own all the movies and can pop them in whenever we want.  There's something about it being on t.v.  Must be lingering anticipation from my childhood, of waiting for the World Premier of a movie to show on t.v., before we could buy movies and have them at the push of a button.

Blame it on the Tetons

Okay, seriously. I've run into a Mouse fan here or there and it's always the same upon discovery: we pause to look deeply into one another's eyes, share a moment of absolute unspoken understanding, hold a moment of silence for the awesomeness (in the truest sense of the word) that is Modest Mouse, then go about life a little happier because we know one more person in the world who Gets It.

This isn't a video; it's just the music, so scroll down and soak up those lyrics.





Blame it on the Tetons

Blame it on the Tetons
Yeah, I need a scapegoat now
No, my dog won't bite you
Though it had the right to
You ought to give her credit
Because she knows I would've let it happen

Blame it on the weekends
God, I need a cola now
Oh, we mumble loudly
Wear our shame so proudly
Wore our blank expressions
Trying to look interesting
Blame it all on me because
God, I need a cold one now

All them eager actors
Gladly taking credit for the lines created
By the people tucked away from sight
Is just a window from the room we're bound to
If you find a way out
Oh, would you just let me know how?
Would you just let me know how?

Blame it on the web
But the spider's your problem now
Language is the liquid
That we're all dissolved in
Great for solving problems
After it creates a problem
Blame it on the Tetons
God, I need a scapegoat now

Everyone's a building burning
With no one to put the fire out
Standing at the window looking out
Waiting for time to burn us down
Everyone's an ocean drowning
With no one really to show how
They might get a little better air
If they turned themselves into a cloud