104 lbs / Day Two SUCKS It! { and Wear Purple Today! }

Shew!  I had forgotten how miserable day 2 off sugar is for me.  I am a tried and true sugar addict and getting off the smack is really painful for me.  Day 2, for some reason, is always the worst.  I suffered yesterday, wanting chocolate and cake and ice cream.  GAH! 

I seriously contemplated just caving in, saying F*#! it and eating sugar.  I alllllmost got to a place in my head where i didn't care if i was puffy with carb-bloat (carbs make me retain water like mad) or if my gut hangs over my pants.  Then i sighed, planted my feet, and decided i'm not quite ready to have a closet full of mumu's.  Yet. 

To compensate (and comfort myself), i ate about 150 more calories (healthy food) than i normally would while losing weight.  Hence, only losing 1/2 lb in the last 24 hours.  Still, that's nothing to bark at.  I'll take it.

I'm not exercising during this round of weight loss.  No particular reason, just laziness.  Plus, exercise isn't necessary to lose weight with SPEED.  Gotta love that!

On another note:  today, in honor and remembrance of kids (and adults) everywhere who have taken their lives because they were bullied for being gay (or being perceived as gay), please wear purple, which stands for "spirit" on the rainbow flag. 

To those of you who believe gay people CHOOSE to be gay and continue putting that idea out there and CAUSE BULLYING because of the beliefs you try to force on the rest of the world:  SHAME ON YOU.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." (The Declaration of Independence)

Sadly, there are people in this great country who feel that gay people shouldn't have the right to pursue happiness, again attempting to force THEIR beliefs on the rest of humanity.  How very, very tragic.

104.5 and DER!

A recent study reports that junk food affects the brain like heroine and is addictive.  Well, no sh!t, huh?  I've been saying that for years. 

Here's the article:
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/junk-food-could-be-addictive-like-heroin-1929982.html

I blogged on this just a couple weeks ago: http://crapstain.blogspot.com/2010/03/hello-my-name-is-sandi-and-im-addict.html

I've been off the smack (chocolate) for 19 days.  Creamy chocolate thoughts drift into my mind from time to time, but I don't want to ruin what I've done in the past couple weeks.  And I know--I absolutely know--if I take even one bite of chocolate, I'll be back on the smack.  I try to fool myself and say that if I psych myself up for it, I can just eat ONE PIECE of a Vosges bar and walk away.  But that's a lie.  It's like a heroine junkie saying she can ride the horse just one more time, then suddenly she's galloping full-throttle through fields of blissful decay.

I wonder why some people can have smack (in whatever form) and leave it without addiction?  My mom can do it.  Sugar doesn't suck her in.  Ah, but the cigarettes, that's another story; she's tried and can't get off them.  Does everyone have that ONE thing that can overpower and consume them?

Hello, My Name is Sandi and I'm an Addict....

Dear Sugar-in-the-Form-of-Chocolate,

I don't know why, but my brain chemistry wants you.  Badly.  I consume you until I actually feel high, maybe even slightly manic.  I am giddy in your creamy embrace.  The problem is that I can't stop.  There is no such thing as moderation.  One Cadbury Egg leads to another.  All sensibility is out the window.  It's been four days without you.  The cravings have been unbearable at times, and I've nearly collapsed from the grief of missing you.  I told my husband yesterday that I feel like a chocolate whore...forget the crack.  He laughed and asked if that was why I married him...because I knew he would give me sugar.  I thought about it.  It's true that one of our first dates was to the Hagen Daas store.  Hmmm.

In the four days since I quit the smack, I've lost four pounds!  I'm at 109.5.  I'm not sure how much longer I can resist the temptation.  Just looking at you or thinking of you creates a stir in me.  Even when my mind manages to focus on something else, my body reminds me how badly I want you.

I love you; please leave me alone,

s

Our Relationship is OVER!

This has been coming for a long time. Things just got way too unhealthy. It started with a little bit here and there, and then gradually built up to breakfast, lunch and dinner. Daily. Yes, seven days a week. I couldn't pass the pantry without reaching for some. My habit had grown to over 2 lbs. a week. It was definitely feeling a little crazy! It was time to say goodbye. It's been over 6 weeks since I pulled my hand outta the bag. The first week was rough--a lot of tears and gnashing of teeth. But as time went on and I held to my conviction, it got easier. I bought a bag this week for old time's sake, and haven't opened it. Actually, I had forgotten about it 'til just now. I'm feeling pretty good about that.

Mmmmm chocolate

our friends April and Jason come over last night for dinner (we made vareniki and borscht--mmmm) and April showered us with yummy organic chocolate of the most yummilicious flavours: lavendar & blueberry, chai, lime, milk, dark, extra dark, current and hazelnut, mayan spice, and more! and the winner (for April & me) was...Dagoba chai!

thanks, you guys! you cheered me up after my ER incident. i love it when you come to visit!