Paper Thin Walls

It's time for a good Mouse Fest. It's been a while. This song fits with my current theme (a need to escape; feeling caged and scrutinized).

I need to go, far and long.

Big Things

are coming this summer!  Can't say what, but will say it involves:

• a lot of time on the road
• photography
• a friend
• a trunk full of beef jerkey
• the wind in my hair

Just This One Day, Please

Please, just for this one day, let me sit alone in silence, with no demands from life, loved ones, friends, family, work, myself. 

This is something of a confessional, and even more of wishful thinking.

It's a common theme for me to just want to run away.  To pack a bag (a small, light one) and just go.  Somewhere, anywhere where no one knows me and i can wear dark sunglasses and a big hat and no one will recognize me.  No one will want anything from me.  No one will even know my name.  I will not have to speak.  I will eat nothing but mangoes, plucked fresh from a tree.  I will lie in the sand, book in hand, too drowsy to actually read it.  The warmth of sun is the only thing i will feel on my skin, waves and gulls the only sounds.

Just. One. Day.

Then again, i may never come back.  I was not made for growing roots.

I'm Scared

Not really; that's just the title of the self-portrait i did for this week's "photo club" assignment.

Click to see it biggah.

A Near Pefect 10

So i've been "nursing" a headache for almost a week now.  It's been hovering on the 1-10 pain scale between 3 and 5.  Last night it edged it's way up to a 6.  Then, in the middle of the night, i woke up with a near perfect 10.  If i didn't know better, i would've thought it was a migraine (but in reality, the rib in my upper chest is out again, which throws off my entire spine, especially the neck).  The pain was so intense it was almost paralyzing.  It was blinding.  I sincerely thought i was about to have an aneurysm or something.  I couldn't even speak.  After a minute, the pain knocked me out again.  I spent the remainder of the night in and out of consciousness, wracked with explosive pain in my head.

I finally fully woke just after 7.  Todd was in the bathroom, getting ready for work.  I managed to struggle out of bed to tell him i needed him to take me to the doctor (and since he doesn't get paid sick days, we're out half a day's pay on top of the doctor's bill...yay!).  Thank Hello Kitty that Dr. Mike Soloman is open on Fridays.  My pain is now down to a 2-3, very tolerable.  I'm going back tomorrow and after that i'm sure it'll be gone and i'll be right as rain again.  I'm resolving to see my NSA practitioner (Dr. Mike Funicello) regularly, to avoid this kind of pain in the first place.  UGH; i have such a bad habit of putting off important things if they're for ME.  ME needs better care from me.

I do think this video IS a perfect 10, though.

Chocolate Orgasm

So i'm like, doing the low-carb thing again, cuz like, my pants don't like, fit, and so like, i lost a pound the first day.  And so i'm, like, eating some chicken and guacamole and Greek yogurt right now with some cashews, like, thrown in the mix for a little, like, crunch.

And i'm like, NOT thinking about chocolate.  Like, not at all.  Chocolate?  What's that?  I don't even know what that is.  That brown stuff?  That looks like, like, something that came out of a sheep's butt?  And smells like it, too? 

Okay, no, it doesn't look or smell like sheep excrement.  It's yummy and divine and makes me want to (almost) believe there's a god, and the mouth-feel...ooooh that creamy, smooth texture (you won't know of what i speak if all you've ever had is cheap chocolate, sorry) and the little burst of endorphins that wash over me as i take that first bite, like my whole body, my whole being just basking in the euphoria, the floaty, happy feeling of...mmmmmmmm, chocolate. 

No, i don't miss it at all.

Oh holy hell on a kaiser roll, how am i going to do this?  

Life Unfolding

Yesterday i mentioned how much i love my friends (or if i wasn't specific: i love them dearly and hugely).  I love watching their lives unfold.  I love sharing their happiness and their sadness and keeping their secrets and laughing and crying with them.

There's been a lot of life unfolding lately.  Big changes are happening for a lot of my loved ones.  And i just want them all to know this:  you are amazing and i'm so lucky and glad to know you.  You will do great, and life will continue to blossom and bloom in unexpected and affirming ways.  Thanks for letting me be a part of it!


{ this concludes my hippie moment of the day }

My Friends

Man, i have some amazing and wonderful friends.  I really do.  Some of them live far away, some of them i haven't met in person yet, and some of them i see regularly.  I love them all.  In a couple weeks, i'm going to see several of my photographer friends and an old Air Force buddy i haven't seen in 21 years.  Todd and the kids finally get to meet 5 friends who appear in my stories almost daily.  I'm so excited!

Viva Las Vegas!