Monday, August 10, 2009

Worst Performance of My Life

Last night was my sil, Erin's 40th surprise birthday party. I had some trepidations about going, given the state I've been in since we got our foreclosure date. But I thought I would be able to hold it together at least for a little while.


I got there, saw all the smiling happy people and burst into flames. I sat in an inconspicuous spot on the loveseat and tried to plaster on a smile. Didn't work. The tears started coming, so I jumped up and retreated to the den, where a group of my nephews had crashed the computer so severely it said "contact technical support." I perused the pages of an atlas and read about Mount Everest. I tried not to think about moving into a rental house with sterile white walls and zero character.

Allie asked me when we'd be able to buy another house. I sadly had to tell her it wouldn't be during her lifetime in our home. She'll be 16 this December. She'll probably own a house of her own before we do again. I hate that my kids have no place to look back on as "home."

1 holla'd back:

Crazymamaof6 said...

Home will be wherever you are. and wherever you have been.

someday they will look back and think fondly of your time in this house where everything was hand picked. and they'll talk about the funny annoying things about the rental. the memories are with your family not your house.

my kids cry about missing the Crappy rental housing on campus at ASU east . seriously lamest rental ever. EVER! seriously SHIZ. and yet. fond memories.

they take their cues about how sad to be about it by how you handle it. not saying i didn't cry the day we moved into the shitty rental, but, life goes on. decorate as much as you can when you move in. make it as homey as possible. and just make sure to touch up over the pin holes when you leave.

hang in there. hugs!

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