Sometimes Research Sucks It { Children Raised in Single-parent families are Screwed }

So i read an article yesterday that referred to research that showed kids who are raised in pretty much anything other than a family with a mother and a father are screwed.  The author indicated that single-parent families were less healthy/successful/happy and were more prone to crime and poverty, etc. It also said that future research would likely show that children raised in gay-parent families would have similar results as the vagabonds raised by single parents.  This article (and i've lost the link to it, or else i would quote it and thus be more accurate about what it said) really pissed me off. 

First of all, where are the VAST majority of single-parent families?  Inner cities.  Are those kids affected by a hell of a lot more than just the fact that they only have ONE parent?  OF COURSE they are.  Drugs, violence, gangs, crime...all these thing affect those kids. 

You can't use that study to speak for the majority of single-parent families from "average" society.  And you certainly can't use those studies to predict the future outcome of children raised in gay-parent families. 

I'm just an average, white, middle class chick who was a single mom for about 6 years before remarrying.  Is single-parenting more challenging than having two parents in the picture?  Of course it is.  I can speak for that.  But i can also speak for all the single moms i knew (and still know) personally. 

I'm going to list a few of the single moms (anonymously) that i know, and the outcomes of their kids:

S - 2 girls, one graduated college with honors, the other graduated from a language-submersive high school with high honors; both are involved in clubs and/or sports

W - raising a son pretty much since birth, on her own.  The son is smart as a whip, does great in school, is kind, concerned, and loving. 

L - single mom for many years to one daughter who does well in school, behaves well, is not scarred in any way; fully functional

H - single mom for several years, one son who never had issues in school or at home, no acting out; completely functional

Come on, let's face it.  We could all sit down and compile a list of perfectly normal, healthy, functional families who don't fit the mold of "one mother and one father." 

I think it's quite easy and convenient for certain groups to take research and twist it into whatever they want it to imply.  I think it's rubbish and downright manipulative to do that. 

What do i predict for children raised in gay-parent families?  I predict they will have more open minds, more compassion and understanding and less judgment, in general.  I think they'll perform alone the same lines as any other child in a family with healthy parents (or parent), and be prone to the same ups and downs, challenges, truimphs, failures as the rest of "average" society (and by that, i mean kids not growing up in the harsh reality of inner cities or other less than ideal situations).  I think they'll just be "normal."

And let's face, it, i'm usually right.  ;oP

It's a Good Thing Religion is Such a Force for Good in the World

It's a really good thing all those Catholic missionaries went to Africa and taught the people that condoms are bad, and against god.  That AIDS epidemic is sure awesome!

It's a good thing missionaries, preachers, and pastors taught (and teach) the world that homosexuality is evil, otherwise people wouldn't be beaten to death for being born that way. 

And just think, if it weren't for religion, there might be peace in the middle east, and that would just suck. 

There would be thousands of gay mormons still alive had their general "authorities" not told them they could "change" or that who were they born as is an "abomination."  None of their families would be missing them right now, and that would be just awful!

Children of pentacostals wouldn't be beaten with wooden rods; the shame!

Thank god for religion!  It brings such peace to the world!

Minnow Paws, the Movie

So, as i lay awake last night channel surfing for something boring enough to knock me out, a commercial came on that caught my attention.  The first scene was a woman holding a sign that said something along the lines of:  "My husband is no longer afraid of me."  The next scene showed a different woman holding yet another sign that read, "I can sleep at night," or yada yada.  Anyway, seeing as how i couldn't sleep (no comment on whether Todd has been afraid of me lately, bwa!), i continued to watch the commercial.  It was for Estroven.  Oh, menopause, you devil, you.

I don't get why this video has "cougar" in the title; there is nothing cougary in the video.  It speaks volumes about this particular age in my life, though.  "I'm just going to wear the fuckin' hat!"  Bwahahahaha!  You go!

 

A Quotey Quote

"People are like stained glass windows; they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is reavealed only if there is a light within." — Elisabeth Kübler-Ross


so true, so true, so true.

Demotivation

Can i just say that i do NOT miss working in an office?

I Interrupt This Editing Session { for Girls' Night Out! }

I've worked hard this week, almost non-stop editing, appointment making, planning, order taking.  Now it's time to take a little break and have a much-needed Girls' Night Out!  Then, i have another full weekend of magic-making (portraits).  Thank dog for caffeine (especially in the form of lucious milk chocolate).

Have a lovely weekend, everyone!

Cracklins and Fat Back { and Animal Ass }

"It's so nice to not have to smell animal ass when you walk in the house."  --Quote of the day by Todd Miller.  He's in a lot of houses for his job and smells a lot of odd aromas.  Animal ass is just the tip of the iceberg.  You do not want to know.  Trust.

So, we had a bunch of teens at our house over the weekend and one of them was talking about how he cracks his girlfriend's back by grabbing and pulling the skin over the lumbar spine.  You pull it up really quickly and firmly and a vertebra will crack.  I was intrigued, having spent the past couple days with terrific back pain.  I lay down on the floor and had Todd grasp my fat back* and give it a yank.  Sure enough, CRACK!  This sent me into hysterics; i could not stop laughing.  Finally, i said, "Do it again! Do it again!"  A little higher up this time, and again...CRACK!  I have to admit, i'm feeling tons better today. 

*i'm back to the same weight i was at this time last year.  Thanks to a high-carb diet, i once again qualify as a sumo wrestler.  { almost }

Who Am I? I am Not a Sagittarius. { Cue Dramatic Music }

Although i read about this several years ago, i dismissed it, since, like i always say, i don't live my life (or definitively define myself) by a zodiac sign.  Some of it fascinates me because it's so accurate, and some of it makes me roll my eyes, because it's so blatantly off and not me at all.  I find the Enneagram sooooo much more accurate in describing people, and respect that Enneagram allows for growth and transformation.  (I also love reading that i function at the highest levels on the Enneagram and not from the lower, base levels associated with immaturity, anger, fear, etc.). 

Okay, so back to the New Sign in astrology.  It turns out i am no longer a Sagittarius (cue dramatic music).  I am an Ophiuchus.  And i can't even pronounce it (mostly because the guy on the news this morning couldn't either).  Has your sign changed? 

The New Dates:
Capricorn: Jan. 20 - Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16 - March 11
Pisces: March 11- April 18
Aries: April 18 - May 13
Taurus: May 13 - June 21
Gemini: June 21 - July 20
Cancer: July 20 - Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10 - Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16 - Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30 - Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23 - Nov. 29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29 - Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17 - Jan. 20

Info from various sources:

(WikiPedia) "The most recent interpretation is that the figure represents the healer Asclepius, who learned the secrets of keeping death at bay after observing one serpent bringing another healing herbs. To prevent the entire human race from becoming immortal under Asclepius' care, Zeus killed him with a bolt of lightning, but later placed his image in the heavens to honor his good works."

LIST OF KEY WORDS DESCRIBING THE SIGN OF OPHIUCHUS
(click above for original source)
interpreter of dreams
vivid premonitions
attracts good luck and fruitful blessings
serpent holder
lofty ideals
a seeker of peace and harmony
doctor of medicine or science
 natural-pathic
adds, increases, joins, or gathers together
poetical, inventive nature, expanding qualities
seeks higher education and wisdom
overseer, supervisor of work
fame - either grand, or completely misunderstood
longevity, aspirations of healing the ills of man
architect, builder, reaches for the stars, figuratively and literally
tax assessor, or levys taxes
astrological talents, intuitive
large family indicated, but apt to be separated from them when young,
the number twelve holds great significance
foresight and good fortune to benefit from hard times
has secret enemies in family or close associations
many jealous of this subject
notable father, apple of father's eye when young
high position in life expected [depending on aspects] highest fame and legend comes after death
feelings of granular, wise, genius mentality
likes to wear clothing of vibrant colors, and plaids in particular
receives the favor of those in authority.

HEY!  I think some of that is a more accurate description of me than some of Sagittarius was, but i definitely fit the more outgoing parts of Sag.  Interesting!  Behehehe.

Mirror Reflections and Scapegoats

I've been reflecting a lot lately on how people are sometimes mirrors for each other.  When you believe the worst about someone, despite evidence to the contrary, that is a mirror.  You are falsely seeing in someone else a trait you may not be aware of about yourself, and don't want to see or admit about yourself.  It's painful to see the unpleasant sides of ourselves, so we humans have a habit of projecting those sides unfairly onto others. I think scapegoating is a similar situation; not exactly the same, but in the same category.  In either case, you're putting the blame where it doesn't belong.  You're putting guilt on an innocent person.

I've been wrapped up in the Ted Williams story.  I've read comments on various places across the internet, some supportive and some downright ridiculous and mean.  Where is compassion and understanding?  Are there really that many people out there who only want to blame him, point the finger at him, degrade him, and villainize him?  He's an addict for christ sake.  He admitted it from the beginning.  And i admire his courage for going forth in this circus and trying to make amends with his family (who are being RIDICULOUS...soooo many mirrors going on there!  When will they look at themselves and get help for their own issues?) and trying to get back on his feet and come back to society.  Can you imagine being homeless for years and the changes that take place in the psyche in order to survive that?  And then can you imagine being sucked back into standard society by the media in a whirlwind of attention and spotlights?  I think Ted is doing amazingly well.  I admire his decision to check himself into rehab.  I wish his family would realize that what they're really angry at is Ted's disease, and not Ted himself.  Maybe that would help them heal, and more importantly, help Ted heal.  Ted, i wish you the best!  You deserve happiness and peace, like all humans do.

Penquin Commentary

In re the penguin video of the last post, i'm sure you got what i was saying.  I wasn't saying penguins should live outside their natural habitats, of course, but that we should all look out for one another.  Treat each other as we would a displaced and adorable penguin.  Throw each other a fish when we can, yeah?  Cuz life is too fleeting to let it all go by in a blur of disdain and fear. 

Breathe.  Breathe.  Breathe.  Inhale life fully.  Live while you can, because one day you won't. 

How it Should Be

Where is Home?

Where is home?  Here is home:

And this song says it all:

I Have Nothing to Say { and it's Friday }

I really have nothing to say.

It's Friday and i don't know how it got here so fast. Last time i checked, it was just Monday.

So, what are your plans for the weekend? I plan on eating sushi and laughing.

Text to Movie - Type 1 Diabetes Edition

Allie, In All Seriousness

I have some lovely photos of Allie, but this is the only one she will allow me to post.  She is a turdbucket.  But i love her guts!