This morning, the fam went to a meeting in Gilbert and hung out with some wonderful friends. Bryce drank a glass of water and then an Italian soda. In other words, the 4-year-old had a VERY full bladder by the time we left. Todd took Boogs to the bathroom before we left, so i thought he'd make it home (about a half-hour drive). Alas, it wasn't meant to be. Less than 10 minutes down the freeway, Bryce is doing the pee dance in his car seat.
Todd pulled into In N Out (the drive-through) and I climbed into the back of the 'burban and opened an old cup of water for Boogs to pee into. Why i didn't throw the remaining water out the window before letting him unload his bladder into the cup, i will never know. So, B-man starts whizzing into the cup of water and it's getting nearer and nearer the top. I'm holding the cup in front of him, he's standing in the aisle between the middle captain seats. As the pee is juuuuuust about to overflow from the cup, i say, "Stop! Stop peeing!" and all i can do is start laughing, because he's reeeeally peeing and can't stop so i know we're about to have a yellow Niagara Falls flowing onto the floor of our car. But nooooo...even better, instead of continuing to pee into the overflowing cup, Boogs just starts spraying me. He's really hosing me down. All i can do is laugh so hard i'm shaking. My jean shorts, my Hello Kitty t-shirt, my legs...all dripping with urine.
When he finally finishes, Boogs steps back, pulls up his shorts, gets a side-ways face and says, "Sorry Mommy." And all i can do is continue to laugh. At that point, we're at the window to take our food and the kid is asking Todd if he wants ketchup. I'm yelling "Napkins! Napkins!" and i'm still laughing hysterically.
Todd hands me a wad of napkins and i soak up the pee on my legs, then my shirt and shorts. I ride home wet with pee, still laughing.
These are the moments in life, the ones worth writing down and remembering...those wacky, silly things that happen randomly and unexpectedly and put a big smile on the face.
Next time, though, i'll empty the cup first. Or maybe even go inside to use the bathroom.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
When You Get Peed On....
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3 holla'd back:
I think maybe it takes a mother to find humor in this. Because...gross.
This post was not at all what I expected when I saw the title in my blog roll. I assumed you meant "peed on" more metaphorically. So, while I don't understand how you can laugh through it...I was pleasantly surprised.
Amy, your comment made me laugh all over again! Yes, i suppose it does take the mother of the child doing the peeing to think it's funny. And even then, there are probably a number of moms who wouldn't find the situation humorous at all. I think the funniest thing about it was that B-man had no clue what to do when the cup started to spill over, and his split-second choice was to pee on ME. When in a pinch, Mom's there to help! Bwaaaahahaha!
While I certainly commend you on your impressive equanimity, I have to say that I see a lost opportunity here. Have you been putting off a visit with a chatterbox acquaintance or friend? I bet they'd get to the point a hell of a lot faster if you showed up reeking, but smiling pleasantly as if nothing at all were amiss. Did you need to go someplace like Walmart, but didn't look forward to standing in line to check out for twenty minutes? I doubt that would have been a problem, especially if you managed to keep laughing to yourself in the store.
(I hope you appreciate how I restrained myself from reaching for some awful play on the old cliché about life, lemons, lemonade...)
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