Saturday, August 14, 2010

How to Age 7 Years Overnight

Have a teen daughter with type 1 diabetes who thinks she's invincible and lies directly at you when you ask, "Did you shoot for that {meal}?"  Have her continue for months and months, only giving a bit of insulin here and there...just enough to keep her alive and functioning, seemingly okay on the outside, all the while inside her body there is a battle raging, acid vs. base.  Have her body leach calcium from her bones to neutralize the acid in her blood caused by lack of insuilin, until finally the body says I GIVE!  And it can give no more.  Take her to the ER and then watch as she's hooked to IV's and later admitted to the hospital for 2 days.  Then find out that her bicarb was at 2 {should be over 20} and realize just how close a call this was. 

Then go home to get her some clean clothes and find things in her room you wish you hadn't.  Spend the day with social workers and counselors, then talk to residential treatment facilities.

Have your daughter hate you.  Yes, the one you've taken care of her whole life, the one you still take care of, the one you take shopping, the one you try to have a relationship with no matter how hard she tries to push you away.

Realize just how bad things are.

Then, after finding those 40 new wrinkles around your worried, tired eyes, stop.  Sit.  Be grateful for the small things, and that you're no longer surrounded by the judging, controlling eye and that you're free to FEEL and relate and EXPRESS and bitch and gripe if you want.

And count on things getting better.  They always do.

3 holla'd back:

Anonymous said...

Hope your daughter is doing okay. Hang in there!

sandi said...

Thanks! I'm hanging. There comes a point when ya just have to accept that people will do what they're going to do and sometimes there's nothing to be done about it. Hopefully in this situation there IS something that can be done and she'll get on board with it. Thanks for your support :o)

The Hoot-Owl Harangue said...

damn... I will continue to pray for Allie, you know that! You are a wonderful Mom, remember that! xoxoxo

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