Wednesday, August 18, 2010

There Might Be a Whip Scorpion in Your House If....

  • You keep thinking you see something moving out of the corner of your eye and jump up on furniture in reaction
  • You fear walking on whip-scorpion-colored carpet
  • You stand back four feet from the washer and dryer, stretching and leaning to get the clothes in and out, just in case there's a whip scorpion hiding under there
  • When entering a room, you pause to scan the floor for whip scorpions
  • When sitting on the toilet, you keep your feet elevated off the floor in case a whip scorpion runs out and you're stuck there on the toilet, defenseless
  • You see an actual whip scorpion run behind your dryer

Dear Whip Scorpion That Ran Under My Dryer:

I know it's ugly outside, but please find your way back out there.  I'm sure there are far more interesting things to eat out there, anyway.  It's your natural habitat.  Yes, I know you got screwed in that regard, but still.  Inside this house is my domain, and I must put my foot down.  If that foot comes down on you, I will crap my pants.  I have no intention of harming you { mostly out of fear } and hope that we can come to a peaceful agreement here. 



3 holla'd back:

Amy said...

I made the mistake of doing an image search. Yucky!!! That is creepy. How big was this guy?

sandi said...

Creepy to the max! It was small...prolly just over an inch long, but those pinchers in the front...EWWWWWWWWWW! I'm totally heebee-jeebied.

The Hoot-Owl Harangue said...

girl, I was literally laughing out loud on this one!!!!!!!!! xoxoxoxo

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