Tuesday, August 19, 2008

The End of My Peaceful Existence

Todd was out back tonight working on the backyard, so I decided to go hang out, too. I perused the perimeter of the fence and saw a widow web in the northeast corner, and so went to get a flashlight. Todd killed the widow, then found another and killed that one, too. I found two more babies further down the fence and drowned them with Odo Ban and Simple Green. I continued along the length of the fence until I came to the far opposite end and shined the light in that corner. To my horror I saw one of these... (go see it! i'm not putting that freakishly scary picture on my blog!)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Skorpion_fg01.jpg

For the past year and a half, I've been living with the belief that we didn't have scorpions in our happy little section of the desert. My comfortable little lie came completely undone in that moment and my life changed forever. This was the end of my peaceful existence.

I froze. I began to shake. All I could do was stand there shrieking/howling/squealing "Scorpion scorpion scorpion scorpion scorpion scorpion scorpion scorpion scorpion scorpion scorpion scorpion scorpion scorpion scorpion scorpion scorpion scorpion scorpion scorpion scorpion," until Todd walked casually over.

He took my flashlight and I took several steps backward. I started bawling...really bawling, crying my heart out. Loudly. (The neighbors no longer have to wonder if I'm a nut; they now have their confirmation).

The scorp evaded Todd's attempts at squishing him and darted into a crevice in the block wall of the fence. Damn crevices to Hell! At that point, I retreated to the house in a state of despair. Allie was on the computer and I approached her, sobbing, to tell her the bad news.

She laughed at me.

I called Amy to tell her the bad news, still crying. She tried so hard not to laugh at me.

It is so not funny.

3 holla'd back:

Crazymamaof6 said...

that totally SUCKS! what a huge bummer your blissful state of ignorance was ruined! i'd flip out too! the spiders would give me the heebeejeebees too! YUCK!

Supercool Hotmama said...

I have never seen one of those suckers at my house, but I did kill one once with a big rock. Very satisfying.

Taryn said...

If you sprinkle diatemaceous (sp?) earth around the perimeter of the house and/or the yard it will keep them away. (actually it will kill them when they cross it which is what keeps them away. *giggle*). We live in an arid environment and it has worked beautifully for us for years and it's not poison. I don't want poison around the house with all the kids and animals. You can usually find it at a feed store or at a gardening store. Good luck!!

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